Another shitty Christmas carol

I already hate christmas carols. And here's one getting on my last good nerve: The Twelve Days Of Christmas. It's basically some asshole bragging about how his rich spoiled cunt of a girlfriend keeps giving him stuff. What a materialistic son of a bitch. Not only does he measure the love of his girlfriend by all the shit she gives him, but he also goes as far as to write a song about it and uses her filthy money to make it famous.

You know what your true love gave to me on the first day of Christmas? A blowjob. That's right, asshole, and she kept giving me more bowjobs each day to match what day we were on. For example, on the fifth day of christmas she gave me five blowjobs. You know what I got on the ninth day of christmas? I got some raunchy, dirty sex. On the eleventh day I got to go in through the back door. The back door is her asshole, by the way. And finally on the twelfth day my dick was the star of the show when she brought eleven of her hot, spoiled bitch friends over for more sex than any human should be able to handle. But I could handle it anyway because I kick that much ass. When all was said and done I spewed out a load of semen that would make Peter North look like a pussy onto her face, and then we made it into a soup and fed it to your mother, claiming it was clam chowder. Beats the hell out of your five shitty rings, don't it?