Fictional characters the real world could use

I've been watching a lot more TV lately, and when I decide to step out into the real world fro a minute, I find that nobody in it is nearly as awesome as the bad sons of bitches I've been getting an eye full of lately. The only thing we can do is hope somebody attempts some shit they see in a movie, and they've only watched these movies. FIrst up on our list of badasses is:

Vic Mackey

Not a lot to say about this guy, but that's because he basically speaks for himself. When he isn't busy starting people down with his piercing blue eyes, he likes to stomp on Cholos for no apparant reason. Awesome. I wish The Shield was seventeen hours long.

Detective John McLane

Here's a guy who doesn't play with his prick when it comes to fucking people up. His demeanor in all three Die Hard movies can be summed up as "fucking irritated". He's always got a headache or a pain in his balls or something that pisses him off. Luckily, there are always germans nearby for him to shoot in the face or hang from a chain or stab in the heart. Not only does he respond to minor inconveniences with unremitted, some (wusses) would say unnecessary violence, but he's also confident enough to send messages to his enemy about his weapon supply written in blood. If every badge-weaing officer in America was a John McLane, the world would have been crushed under the USA's mighty bootheel eighty years ago.

Marv

Only a miserable creature with no testicles (a woman) could fail to appreciate how awesome Marv is. His idea of a good time is beating the shit out of five guys at once after he shaves with a broken bottle of Jack Daniels. In the course of about 20 minutes of film time, Marv manages to score with an unbelievably hot chick, cut Elijah Wood's head off for wearing a dorky Charlie Brown shirt, torture a priest, survive a hail of machine gun fire, score with the unbelievably hot chick's twin sister, and steal two leather trenchcoats. And keep in mind: he was taking drugs to calm him down while he did it.

Oscar The Motherfucking Grouch

While everyone else on the show is obsessed with letters, counting and drug-laced cookies, Oscar is only obsessed with one thing: being as pissed off as possible. I can't think of anyone who is so constantly angry that it has become a title for them. Some of you might be questioning my judgment right about now, and I say "fuck you!". Oscar rules. He smells terrible, he gripes about anything and everything to anyone who isn't willing to listen, he lives in a garbage can, he has no friends and he has filthy, matted hair. He reminds me of that cool motherfucker that runs that kickass wesbite called "The Dumpster". Now shut your face and send me some money.