Half-Life 2 is shitty

My friend was recently out of town, so he let me borrow his kickass laptop while he was away. His laptop has a Radeon X800XT Athlon 2600 with 1 gig ram. I got Half-Life 2 and tried it on his laptop. The graphics are good, you have to admit. That was probably the best part of this game. I was having problems with the disc, so I got it replaced. Now lets get to playing the game.

You cannot go through 10 minutes of playing HL-2 without the screen freezing up, with the word LOADING, appearing onscreen. This load takes usually 30 secs to a minute and a half. The annoying part is that it sometimes happens during combat, which gets really frustrating. Did Valve, the creators of HL-2 hear about disk streaming? If Rockstar can stream GTA: San Andreas off a x1 speed, primitive DVD drive, why can't Valve get HL-2 to stream off a FUCKING HARD DISK! Oh I don't know, thats about 50 times faster than a DVD drive!!! Speaking of Valve, the assfaces, they created this thing called "Steam". Steam is supposed to be an Online Gaming Hub that is useful, but actually, it is made to piss you off. You have to input your copy's serial number on Steam to play. Before doing so, you'll have to have a Steam account, and download many large updates. So now they require you to have an online connection to play HL-2, even though it doesn't have ANY DAMN MULTIPLAYER! Okay, videogame piracy is a problem, but this is taking it too far. Through the course of the game, you'll have to pilot various vehicles. These fucking things don't handle like a Warthog from Halo, they handle like a damn shopping cart!!! And fanboys are talking about the "Realistic Physics" engine... The Physics engine in HL-2 is just the Havok engine on a PC. Nothing new. It also has the same physics as the old game Deus Ex: The Invisible War. Now, about the realistic physics, when I'm walking around my TV Room, when I bump into the couch, it doesn't go scooting across the floor to the other side of the room at an extremley high velocity. How's that for realistic physics, Valve? Bunch of cock gobblers, they are. HL-2 comes bundled up with Counter-Strike Source, which is just Counter-Strike with the Havok engine. Yay! more slidey furniture! The Counter-Strike fanboys will love that, since they suck at every other game that exists! Now back to the game. There are times, when the frame-rate, no matter what, drops like a damn brick, and the music starts stuttering. Music which is incredibly crappy, which gets crappier when it stutters. Valve said they would create a patch for it, but I don't really care, since they put the patches on Steam, and Steam sucks. I can run Doom 3 on it at a resolution of 1240x1024 at max with no framerate or stuttering, but it will always happen in HL-2. The fanboys say, "Stop complaining! They have graced us with the greatest game on Earth!" You know what, when I pay $50 for a game, and have a good graphics card in my possession, I expect it, to work. Too much to ask? This all was because some douche bags were sitting around and being lazy, other than properly testing a game which had extreme potential.

So in conclusion, HL-2 is actually a good game, if the word LOADING didn't come up 50% of the time and the framerate wasn't such a bitch.

©2005 by Black Snake
For The Dumpster