Two new holidays!

I have just declared 2 new holidays. Feel free to celebrate them with me.

First up, May 17th "Awesome Day"

Origin: On May 17th 2005, many awesome things happened to me on one day. I got Team America on DVD, MGS4 and MGS3: Subsistence were anounced, I kicked ass on every game I own, and I got to mooch off of my uncle's pool.

Traditions: On this holiday, you can go around doing anything I consider awesome. Gambling, underage drinking, murdering Hillary Duff. It's all legal for this one day.

To contrast Awesome Day, I have also declared May 19th to be "Shitty Day"

Origin: On May 19th, 2005, I had the shittiest day I can remember. First I woke up. Bad start already. After that some chick I knew wouldn't stop sending text messages with stomach-turning proverbs about friendship. I thought "Well, at least I get to see Episode III today". How wrong I was. When I got to the movie, I had to wait in line for 1 1/2 hours to get seated. The entire duration of the wait, I had to listen to retarded nerds who live in their parents' basements talk about how Battlestar Galactica is more brilliant than Shakespeare (their exact words), I had to watch some little shitty 10-year-old kid get fingerprints all over his PSP while he sucked ass at playing it. I had to listen to some cunt's crying baby because she think bringing a baby to a fucking Star Wars movie isn't going to damage it's ears. And I had to stare at a poster for the newest film-related travesty "God's Army 2" For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, God's Army was a trout-jizz of a movie that came out years ago about how fucking heroic mormon missionaries are. On this poster there is some missionary trying to look badass (as if you can do that with a shitty suit and a nametage on) while a token black guy with a do-rag, and some bitch stare at you. When I finally got into the theater, after listening to everyone play fucking marco polo (literally) in the theater, and cheer when the movie started (because George Lucas is here to appreciate your applause, you fucking idiots), the movie finally begins. After about 5 seconds of badass space fighting, guess what happens. The entire theater loses power and I don't get to see the movie. Tell Murphy he can get fucked and shove his law right up his urethra.

Tradtions: On Shitty Day, everyone can bitch about everything, no matter how ridiculous, and you just have to put up with it. Don't like it? Bitch back about how you can't stand their bitching. Also, every state (except Utah, Mississipi and Virginia) can choose one person by a statewide poll who has pissed them off the most this year. The person shall stand outside of the captiol building, and everyone else forms into a big line and kicks them as hard as they can in the ass. Also note that on this holiday, since I invented it, I am allowed to choose 5 people that I get to murder in any fashion I deem worthy.

Have fun, and I'll see you all next Awesome Day.