Random kickass thoughts

I recently heard that after someone killed a guy’s wife, and was charged with murder. I felt that charge to be a bit extreme. I would only give the guy willful destruction of personal property at the most. Just like the guy who beat up a midget was charged with assault, but I just call it cruelty to really ugly animals. Holy tard rapist! I’m hysterical! I should have my own website.

This one time I was modeling for the new horse-shaming dildo when I realized that I have monolithic cock and should probably consider penis reduction surgery. But then I thought, “How would all the world’s most beautiful Japanese hookers get the only sex that will actually pleasure them?” I’m so selfish, sometimes.

You know what pisses me off besides your ugly fucking face? When I have to piss, I can hold it in until I start whipping out my schlong, at which point Hercules gets excited at the prospect of pissing and is harder to control. That really gets my goat.

God dammit, I hate Déjà vu! That shit is fucking terrible. You sit around thinking to yourself “I MUST FUCKING CHANGE THIS!”, but you just sit around with a dull look on your face until the feeling passes. And then you start bitching about how useless Déjà vu is. So, I decided to do something about it. Last time I had Déjà vu, I just strangled a homeless war veteran with epilepsy. I finally got rid of that shitty feeling, and helped sweep up some of society’s garbage. The world doesn’t need cripples, God dammit!

Now that you have peered into the mind, which contains massive amount of divine insight, you may just have become a better person. But probably not, you disgusting waste of life. Get out of my sight, you make me sick!