Los Angeles is fucking awesome

I know I hate trees, but to every rule, there is an exception. Palm trees have escaped my wrath because they are the chief supplier of coconuts. Coconuts are fucking delicious, and useful as weapons if you have enough imagination. People in LA exclusively grow the only useful tree in the world, and the pioneers who first came to Utah actually IMPORTED trees to a barren wasteland. If badass vegetation such as this isn't enough to get your ass out of Salt Lake already, this should be:

Your eyes are not playing tricks on you. A genuine house of chicken AND waffles. For those of us who can't decide, there's finally hope. Once again, LA's got it, Salt Lake doesn't. And it seems that chicken and waffles aren't the only thing on the menu in LA...

Finally, a city where the citizens rise up and shout, "I've had enough of these Goddamn old people stinking up my air with their disgusting elder stench!". All this time I had thought that the kind of city where old people have been declared free lunch would be some magical place filled with naked chicks floating on the clouds, but it's really just been a mere 13 hour drive away. I need to get out more...

Here's something you'll never see in SLC.

A liquor section in the supermarket. I know it seems like nothing to you, but this doesn't exist in Utah. That's how much it sucks to live in Salt Lake. Some asshole has gone so far as to try having wine coolers banned from our grocery stores, if he saw this he'd probably melt into a mountain of shit.

So far we've learned a lot about the greater LA area, and we'll learn even more on page 2