Fuck Michigan!

I fucking hate Michigan. There is nothing in Michigan worth seeing or doing. I challenge anyone to give me one reason why Michigan should not be obliterated from existence at this very moment. No volunteers? Good, than Michigan truly does suck.

Just look at a map of this place and tell me it isn't the shittiest state in the union. First off, we have that dumbass lake to the left. What's Michigan's nickname? The "Shitty Lake That Looks Like An Uncircumcisded Dick" State? Next we have the city of Pontiac. What's wrong Michigan, are people too scared to come to you so now you had to sell one of your cities to a car company just to stay out of debt? Go to Hell, you fucking sellouts. And of course, the city of Cheboygan. Good God! Did you just find some homeless guy sputtering a bunch of jibberish on the street corner and let him name your fucking city? Good going, assholes, you've managed to make yourself the stupidest city in America. Do you have any idea how much of a feat that is? Who the hell actually lives in Michigan, anyway? The only people who could possibly live in Michigan are dipshits who laugh at Napolean Dynamite and are too scared to even say the word "ass". Look at what spawned from Michigan! If we had leveled Michigan long before it came into statehood, we might not have fat fucks walking around eating bratwurst and constantly asking the question "HOW 'BOUT THEM WOLVERINES, JIM-BOB!" before they got home to not bitch-slap their wife. That's another thing that pisses me off about Michigan, they discourage wife-beating! These wuss buckets claim that nobody deserves to have their ass kicked every once in a while. Bullshit! I had a girlfriend, and if I hadn't brutally beaten her once a week, my ham sandwiches might have had mayonaise on them! I fucking hate mayonaise, and my ex-girlfriend can vouch for that! And the last reason Michigan sucks: Their tourism site doesn't even support Firefox. It is "best viewed" with Internet Excreter, or Netscape 6.whogivesaratsass. Good job, morons, you've alienated anybody but someone who is fucking stupid enough to actually install and use one of those bullshit browsers! See how their system works? Keep all of the slightly intellegent people OUT whilst inviting the God damned idiots in forever!

Now that you're more educated, get your riot gear and raze that half-assed excuse for a state right fucking now!