MySpace: A place for ugly skanks
Recently, I decided I was way too fucking intelligent. I mean, I've hung out with Stephen Hawking and he said "Damn, dude. You're, like, really fucking smart. Way smarter than I, Professor Stephen Hawking. I mean, comeon, I'm Stephen Hawking, and you've got me talking like an idiot." And I was like, "Hell yeah, Hawkbitch! Bow down! Oh wait, you can't because you're crippled! Ha ha!". It was decided that I was so smart, that I could, in fact, be a danger to myself and others. I had to find a way to fix this problem. And so I did what anyone else does when they need to lose a few million brain cells, I created a MySpace account.
One thing I discovered was that MySpace is probably the single reason that people in America are so fucking stupid. After about an hour on there, I felt the brains starting to leak right out of my skull. Don't believe me? Think it's possible for MySpace to be comprised majorly of something besides idiots, emo kids and just plain old-fashioned douche bags? I thought so. That's why I have proof.
Not twenty-four hours after I created my account, I recieved a message. One from somebody I don't fucking know. Whereas I'm pretty badass, I doubt that some girl from Jersey City would know I created a MySpace that quickly. She said some sack of horse shit about how her friend had a crush on me and blah blah blah. So I decided to play along and add said dumbass to my friends. After I was added to her friends list, I was given access to her profile. Take a look. When I finished installing my new keyboard, my previous one being encrusted with vomit at the sight of this ugly whore, I decided that the fun was not over yet. So I let her send me a message or two, none of which included my name, by the way, and finally, I was treated to this so-called "letter just for me". Quite obviously, this is a really shitty ruse to get $3 out of me so I can watch skank-a-tron get naked. What proves that MySpace is indeed a haven for morons of all kinds, is that this shit actually works. They wouldn't fucking do it if they didn't. I guarantee this porn site made at least a few grand with this stupid-ass scheme. And that, my loyal followers, is why practically everyone on MySpace is an idiot.
