The N: TV for suggestible idiots

Too old for Nickelodeon? Not in high school yet, thus disqaulifying you from being a dumbass who actually watches MTV? Don't worry, now there's The N. Television for dumbasses in middle school who buy anything that somebody with their hat on backwards tells them to.

This channel pisses me off. When they're not playing actrocious music videos for shitty emo bands, talentless pop singers, or bitches that can't play the guitar or sing worth a koi's asshole, they're making it blatently obvious that their values system is completely fucked up.

On this channel, they play old episodes of the cartoon Daria. In one episode, a character originally said "We're all going to hell", however, The N managed to cut off the scene right before she said "hell". Let's take a trip to the opposite end of the spectrum. They also play an original series, and I use the term loosely, called "Degrassi: The Next Generation". It's one of those wonderful shows where whiny middle school kids get what's coming to them for being dumbasses, but the writers make them look like the victims. During the commercial breaks, I got to see a synopsis of one episode. In this episode, a 14-year-old dumbass (as if there are any who aren't) stares at another dude's johnson in the locker room and realizes that he couldn't satisfy a cheerio. So he goes to his friend and borrows his friend's cock pump. As if it weren't disgusting enough that he is borrowing a used cock pump, his girlfriend walks in on him pumping his dick up. Wonderful. Hell is unacceptable, as it may warp a 12-year-old's mind, but dick vaccuming is a-ok.

It's high time that I kill everyone. And when you see them hauling me away on the news, you can tell them it was your God damned fault. I hope you're happy